Hawaii Five-O: Apparently there was only room for one good show filmed in Hawaii

They say everything is cyclical. What was popular once will come back around eventually. This is true for a lot of things: penguins, war, prostitution, MMORPGs, grated cheese, segregation. So, you have to assume that is what CBS was thinking when they decided to do a remake of Hawaii Five-0. To be fair, before I watched the pilot I was thinking this could be alright – Scott Caan, beach paradise, plenty of splosiontits themed episodes.

The show starts off with a bang, helicopter ambushes a convoy in South Korea, hostages, shootout, spolsions, etc. It is basically all downhill from there. The main characters are underdeveloped and clichéd and Jin from LOST has a different name and speaks perfect English (completely unrealistic, everyone knows he can’t speak English for shit). It’s not hard to make Scott Caan a sweet character – give him some funny lines and let him act like a douche bag. The writers failed at that. The other main guy won’t stfu about his father, blah blah blah my father, all episode. Really hoping he doesn’t keep that up. Even the conspiracy aspect of the show (almost the only storyline with potential) was basically an afterthought.

I won’t say that the show doesn’t give a good effort. There is plenty of shooting, an unnecessary scene where a girl is forced to take off her dress, hand to hand combat, bros drinking beers, etc. It’s just that scenes surrounding all that are pretty weak. For example, there is a big shootout on a boat, the main character Detective McGarrett is chasing down this guy who killed his dad and who he has been chasing for most of his career. He catches the guy, gets into a fight and ends up shooting him. The bad guy falls off the boat into the water. McGarrett walks over to the edge, and the body is nowhere to be found. He just goes, “Hey partner, make sure the coast guard fishes that body from outta the water.” Really bro? You’ve been chasing this guy for years, he just killed your dad, and you’re just going to assume he sank to the bottom and walk away?

Hopefully this show takes a turn for the better, because the pilot was pretty much the opposite of The Event. That being said, it’s dialled in on the DVR and that means I’ll probably watch every episode this season, so it doesn’t really matter anyway.