Fantasy Factory - Let's talk about Man-Shit

As many of our loyal readers know, I am a classically trained ballroom dancer. As such, I appreciate and am well-versed in "man-shit." Man-shit covers a wide range of activities, examples of which include: Tackling a wild boar, drinking Jameson Irish Whiskey out of the bottle, listening to this speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rFx6OFooCs, arm wrestling, and many others.

For comparison purposes, examples of non-man shit or "Weak Shit" include: holding hands, drinking wine, French kissing, slow dancing, and many others.

Now that we are on the same page, let’s talk about the most recent episode of Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory. SPOILER ALERT: It’s all about Man-Shit

The episode does a pretty good job of capturing the essence of man but misses the mark a few times. With that in mind, I will assign moments in the episode a number of Jameson shots based on how manly those moments were. The more Jameson shots, the more manly. Here we go:

Rob and Drama sleeping in tents instead of in their rented mansion (1 Jameson shot): This is just retarded. Sleeping outside in generally pretty manly if it is your only option but you should not sleep outside to prove a point. That is just bad decision-making and man shit is all about solid life choices. "Have fun sleeping on the ground nerd. If you need me, I’ll be drinking a protein shake on my waterbed."

Danny Way (100 Jameson shots): This man invented skateboard big air. He INVENTED it! Danny Way could starting doing something super gay like play lacrosse and he’d still be more of a man than anyone I know.

Drama in a rash-guard/wet suit (3 lemondrop shots): Drama is built exactly like Calista Flockhart. A man should never be that skinny unless he has cancer and even then it’s questionable. Nothing good happens to really skinny people. For example, I once knew a Jamaican guy who was about as skinny as Drama and he’s dead now.

Throwing axes at tree stumps (5 Jameson shots): What’s not to like here? Deadly weapons, chopped-up trees, displays of physical strength. This activity has it all and gets bonus points for being relatively obscure.

Squid Hunting (3 Jameson shots): This would have earned more Jameson shots if the activity didn’t involve snorkeling. "Nice flippers asshole."

I’ve had one of my statistics gurus do the math (thanks for the number crunch Abdul) and he informs me the episode finished with a total of 109 Jameson shots and 3 lemon drop shots. Not too shabby.

If you have questions about man-shit feel free to email us at thealiveghosts@gmail.com