Chase Premier Review [Cancel Watch]

All I can say is wow. Do people still think Jerry Bruckheimer is good a producing things? Here’s a list of his last 7 contributions:

Chase (TV) – I cannot stress enough how bad this is
Dark Blue (TV) - Ummm okay
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Movie) – Did this even come out in theaters?
The Forgotten (TV) – Never heard of it
Miami Medical (TV) – Good lord, really?
CSI Miami (TV) – Really getting out of his comfort zone on this one.
Prince of Persia (Movie) – Somehow managed to make Jake Gyllenhal gayer than his character in Brokeback Mountain.
This man produces more stinkers than Irritable Bowel Syndrome but he has really outdone himself with Chase which is why it becomes the first show on The Alive Ghosts cancel watch.

Congratulations Chase, it only took one episode. (Note: You can scroll to the bottom for a one-word review)

Here are some lowlights from the Chase hour premier:
The show opens with a blonde chick (Annie Frost) and a dude with curly hair (Not even bothering to look up his character’s name) chasing a dope slinger through some type of rodeo. Long story short, the blonde chick catches up to him and kicks his ass but not before the following exchange:

Dope Slinger – "Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to play with guns?
Blonde Chick – "My mother died when I was 8…so no."
/Chokeout ensues
Curly haired partner approaches the scene
Curly haired partner – "Nice snag boots!"
End scene

Okay where to begin with the first scene. I don’t think this chick has super powers so there is no way she beats up a fully grown man. Strike 1
How long was her mother going to wait before warning her daughter about the dangers of guns? Isn’t this a life lesson that should be taught fairly early? Strike 2
What was a dope slinger doing at a rodeo? This makes no sense. Strike 3
Where was the curly haired guy during the fight? Did he get lost? Was he tired? Strike 4
Her nickname is BOOTS! Strike 5.

Chase was on the air for three minutes and almost struck out twice. We could be witnessing history here.

Next scene features the main character from John Tucker Must Die as a recent transfer trying to make it on the team with Boots and curly haired guy and ….you know what. I’ll do us all a favor and stop the review here. I should have done this hundreds of words ago.

One-Word Review: diarrheaonmyscreen